Nearest Exit
by sunburntdaisy
Summary: yay, another chapter. the things we do when we should be doing essays...! anyway, it's cordano, it's post mark, helicopterepisode1 and pre helicopterepisode2. enjoy!
1. Escape

Elizabeth lay on her bed, watching the curtains breathe in and out with the wind coming through an open window. She'd timed her breathing to it. Slow, even, deep breaths. She should be relaxed, but every time she thought of him she tensed up. He'd been at the bar, nursing a bottle of something cold. Their eyes locked for a moment as Eddie pulled her close on the dance floor. Robert pulled his eyes away, put a bill on the bar, tipped the rest of his drink between tight lips and pulled his coat around him as he coldly and swiftly walked out.  
  
Eddie noticed her attention wasn't on him immediately and stepped back.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Oh, nothing." She lied. She didn't care if he knew she lied. Her mind wandered. If she'd been dancing with Robert and Eddie had seen her and stalked away obviously affected, would she care? She didn't know. She didn't know if she wanted to know. But she wanted to find Robert now. She should be perfectly contented – good looking guy, good dancer, who treated her reasonably well, was funny, smart, but no threat to her, and there was chemistry… and now of all moments she felt the sudden desire to solve Robert's life. And in the full knowledge she couldn't do it, and he wouldn't let her if she could, she pulled away from Eddie.  
  
"I have to go. Please, don't ask. I'll call you some time." She grabbed her bag and coat and chased after Robert, leaving Eddie… (oh, who cares.)  
  
Robert took his bottle from the bar, leaving the glass clean and empty. He swiveled on the stool to face the dance floor – the evening's entertainment. He quickly downed half the bottle watching amateur couples chase each other in circles. There was one couple who knew what they were doing and they clearly didn't have to think about it – their bodies moved together in unity. Robert took another gulp – dulling his senses in attempt to dull his envy, loneliness, oh, its just semantics. Who bloody cares what you call it, he wanted to drown all of it. Then he saw her. He let his eyes linger, assuming she was a fantasy, a mirage. But then she laughed and spun and he knew he was staring at a real Lizzie. He instinctively searched for who she was with… Eddie pulled her close with too much familiarity for Robert's comfort. Then she saw him, caught him staring – his eyes revealed too much. He looked away, skulled the rest of his drink and made for the nearest exit. Outside the cool air pierced his lungs. The semi-lit streets swum in front of him. He leant against the cold brick wall.  
  
"You okay there sir?" the bouncer asked  
  
Robert nodded and walked away. He made for the beach. The night was peaceful. And it wouldn't be good to go home – he wasn't nearly drunk enough. Too many thoughts would pass through his head before he slept if he went home now.  
  
He was soon on his own. The noise of pubs and clubs seemed distant and lapping waves beckoned. Then the peace was broken by the sound of high heals running and a woman breathing heavily.  
  
"Robert, wait." Lizzie's unmistakable voice called as he turned.  
  
"Lizzie." He couldn't think of anything else to say so he left the ball in her court.  
  
"Um, I saw you – and I, um… it's been a while hey?"  
  
He raised his eyebrows in nonchalant agreement and turned to keep walking. She caught up, removed her shoes and walked beside him.  
  
"Don't you have a date?" he gestured behind them.  
  
"Not now." She answered hoping he'd talk cause she hadn't yet thought of an excuse for following him – and she had a feeling he wouldn't buy the long-time-no-see line for long.  
  
"Elizabeth, I don't want your pity. I might actually enjoy a quiet drink and a walk along the beach… On my own."  
  
She laughed.  
  
He stopped and turned to her somewhat stunned.  
  
"Sorry," she explained, "you sounded like Shrek, 'on my own'," she mimicked the Scottish ogre. Then cleared her throat and apologized again, "sorry, too much wine."  
  
He kept walking, "You're charming drunk Lizzie, but why are you here."  
  
She decided to play the honesty card, "I just wanted to ask you how things are going."  
  
"Pretty shitty thanks. Being inspector gadget," he lifted one metal arm, "aint as fun as it looks. But you'd think, after the movie, at least I'd have better luck with girls."  
  
"You ever thought about doing comedy? You know – stand up?"  
  
"What do you call my job now?"  
  
Elizabeth laughed, "see?"  
  
"If I don't laugh I'll cry."  
  
"You're not the one laughing Robert."  
  
"Congratulations – you got your answer. Shitty. That's my answer. Life is shitty. So, how about you?"  
  
"Fine." Elizabeth wasn't quite sure how to respond.  
  
"How's Ella?" Robert continued, realizing he actually felt like talking.  
  
"She's good – going through a princess phase – insists on wearing a crown 24 hours a day – even in bed. And I keep finding peas in her bed sheets."  
  
Robert looked confused.  
  
"You know, the princess and the pea?"  
  
"Oh, right. Oh, maybe. I forget."  
  
"Doesn't matter."  
  
They walked for a bit in silence.  
  
"Do you really want to be alone?" Elizabeth suddenly turned to him.  
  
"No." he answered before he realized he'd told her the truth. He stopped to take his shoes off and walk barefoot in the sand.  
  
"How's your recovery going?" she asked as he returned to her side.  
  
"Fine. Textbook really. Boring in fact. I'd rather talk about Ella."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Na, you can ask. What do you want to know?"  
  
"What I can't read on your file." Her honesty surprised them both.  
  
"I'm as good as can be expected Elizabeth." He answered after a while.  
  
"There's more to you than this," she desperately wanted to offer comfort, not just meaningless clichés.  
  
"Yah." He obviously didn't quite agree.  
  
"Look," she stopped walking. He stopped and faced her before she continued, "I don't know you that well –"  
  
"Yah you do" he interrupted  
  
"No I don't – I don't know what family you have, are you married? Kids? Where you're from or anything."  
  
"So you don't know about me, but you do know me."  
  
"What I mean is, I might not be the best – or most informed person to say this, but there's more to you than your work."  
  
"Name one thing."  
  
"I told you – I don't know."  
  
"Well, what if you're not missing anything."  
  
"I don't believe that." She said quietly.  
  
"Well good for you."  
  
"I'm trying Robert." She begged  
  
"You can't help me."   
  
She couldn't reply. He turned and kept walking, still carrying his shoes. It was his final statement but she took it as a challenge. She was going to help that stupid, stubborn, brilliant, arrogant, broken man who'd just walked away from her.  
  
Robert half-hoped she'd follow him. He wasn't a fan of answering her questions – because he preferred not to think about most of the stuff she asked about. Meanwhile, her company was addictive. He was like a recovered addict – if he never saw her he hardly missed her, but one whiff and he was ready to do rash and stupid things for a taste of her. He knew he loved her – he was resigned to the fact and a masochistic little part of him kept hoping and allowed her to cause turmoil to his mind, emotions, body… the rest of him hated this little bid that insisted on loving her and not settling for anything less. The rest of him wished he's never met her – then he wouldn't know what he was missing – he'd probably be married, with children even. He might actually be happy. But this watching her, this wanting her, knowing full well it would only happen in dreams. This thing a tiny part of him savoured, it felt like it was killing him. Death from a broken heart might be a lucrative investment to Hollywood and Disney but death from loneliness was somehow much more believable. And not a little more frightening. 


	2. Silence

Thanks for the reviews - i've never been to Chicago - it's a long way from New Zealand... so sorry for geographical errors. maybe i should have them move to NZ, then i'll have it covered. We'll see...  
  
Elizabeth escaped to the lounge, desperate for coffee, and space, and silence. Robert was beside the coffee machine and lifted a cup in her direction – offering to make hers.  
  
"Thanks." She plopped down on a chair exhausted.  
  
He handed her a hot cup and sat opposite.  
  
"Yup, that's what I needed." She sighed, "So, how have you been?"  
  
"Oh you know."  
  
"I wanted to apologise for that night – I didn't mean to ask so many questions."  
  
"Is this Elizabeth Corday apologizing? I thought I'd taught you better. Plus you did nothing wrong." He ended seriously – finding he couldn't keep up the sarcasm.  
  
"Well, I don't know. You clearly wanted to be alone, but I had to stick around and have my say."  
  
"You may have picked that up from me."  
  
"Robert, let's be honest. You're going through shit. I'd hate to make things worse but as a doctor I'm not used to being unsure of how to fix people."  
  
"See, that's where you went wrong. I don't want to be fixed. We're not talking about my arm, or lack thereof. I don't want to be fixed." He was calm, cold even. He said his bit and walked out, leaving a stunned Elizabeth. He should have been furious. He wasn't but she felt terrible.  
  
"I don't know what's good for me either. Don't let me push you away.  
  
Robert"  
  
He wrote on a plain piece of fax paper. Unsure of how comfortable he was being that sincere, he folded it, stuffed it in an envelope and took the envelope to her office. Just as he'd hoped, she wasn't there. He slipped it under the door and took off, for rear she'd arrive any moment.  
  
He found his envelope on his desk the next morning. A piece of tape held the torn seal closed. He opened it, rejection simmering at the back of his throat. At the bottom of the page, in her writing, it said: "ditto. E."  
  
Episode: out of Africa. Elizabeth discovers that Eddie is married.  
  
She shouldn't feel hurt. She'd been fending off his advances since she'd ran out after Robert. Now she didn't have to think of excuses anymore. She should be relieved. And she was, really – just reserving her right to be pissed off.  
  
Stepping our of the hospital she scanned the vista, walking automatically toward the El station. A familiar black coat and bald head made her stop. She watched him lift something to his mouth. Without considering what she was doing she crossed the road and walked up beside him.  
  
"Nice view."  
  
He turned to her, though he hardly needed to see who it was. That voice, those footsteps, even that faint scent was imprinted in his psyche. "It is."  
  
The stood in silence, watching streetlights gleam off the water, listening to its rhythmic lapping.  
  
"It's so still," he broke the silence as if to explain it, "that's why I stop here."  
  
"Contrast to work." She agreed.  
  
"Yah, but to much is not healthy."  
  
"What, busyness?"  
  
"Well, yah, but I meant the stillness."  
  
"Silence is my pet hate." She admitted  
  
"Silence isn't good."  
  
"Well, not for a patient, or a sick babe, but for me – I think I need more."  
  
"Doesn't stop it from being scary though."  
  
"Exactly." She hoped he wouldn't leave. The silence was nice now – almost companionable.   
  
"I don't know what to do." Robert looked out into the night as if he were studying it. Really he was avoiding her eyes but if he were going to have this conversation he'd have to take one step at a time and those eyes affected him more than he wanted her to know.  
  
Elizabeth didn't know what to say. His hand was resting on the cold railing so she tucked hers into it. He looked at their hands. He wasn't alone. The ache in his throat and the pin pricks behind his eyes told him to run away but her touch felt like a lifeline. Maybe it was too much to risk – he might fall for her even more, or she might carelessly walk away just when he started to trust her, or… the list went on. Or maybe he didn't haven anything left to lose. He squeezed her hand, turned to face her and boldly looked at her, "thank you." He said. It was barely audible but she knew what he'd said, and how hard it had been for him to say it.  
  
"Come with me." She let go of his hand and walked back to the road to hail a cab.  
  
"Where are we going?" he caught up to her stunned, hopeful, absolutely terrified.  
  
"You'll see." She gave the driver directions and opened the back door for Robert to get in.  
  
Twenty minutes later he was following her along a dark path.  
  
"I hope you don't do this alone often."  
  
"It's okay, I know my self-defense. I'll save you."  
  
"No need," he laughed, "At speed this thing is lethal." She couldn't see it but she heard the whirring of his arm.  
  
"Well, maybe you're the scariest thing I'll see tonight."  
  
"Na, I'm scarier by daylight."  
  
"I disagree – your sarcasm, so every other word, is harder to gauge when I can't see your face."  
  
"I'll remember that."  
  
The stepped out into the open, a grass slope overlooking Chicago and the dark lake stretching to the East. They just looked at it, said nothing.  
  
Elizabeth pulled her jacket around her tightly and sat down, remembering her tiredness. Robert stood still until she patted the grass beside her – as though he needed her permission. Tonight he had to be sure. The silence was too ambiguous, or intense, he couldn't decide.  
  
"So what is this place?"  
  
"It's a park. I don't even know its name and I've been coming for years."  
  
"What, with guys?"  
  
"No, I never brought anyone. It's my thinking place – my stillness and silence and all that stuff. Gives me a bit of objectivity, some distance."  
  
"Sounds like the stuff genius is made of."  
  
"Try survival tactics."  
  
"Was I really that hard on you?"  
  
"Ha! Yah – well, this may surprise you, but I occasionally think about other things – not just you."  
  
He laughed. He actually laughed. And not bitterly, despite the nature of their joke. The silence was more comfortable, for a while.  
  
"What time are you on tomorrow?"  
  
"Two. You?"  
  
"I'm not – just catching up on some admin – oh the joys."  
  
"Sounds riveting."  
  
"Yah, I should sell tickets."  
  
"Keep your day job." She laughed  
  
"I'm trying," he deadpanned. "Sorry." He didn't mean to.  
  
"Have you ever considered teaching?" she offered.  
  
"Have you ever seen me with med students?"  
  
"Okay, good call. How about research?"  
  
"Yah, I know. I've had offers, but…"  
  
"Well what's stopping you – you clearly aren't where you want to be, you should give it a try."  
  
"Leaving would be so final. Like giving up. It'd give too many people to much pleasure. Plus I've never fancied Virginia."  
  
She laughed, "where else."  
  
"Boston, maybe New York."  
  
"That's not so far away." She wasn't sure why she was relieved.  
  
"Yah, but still." He sighed.  
  
"What's keeping you here?" she probed.  
  
"What do you think Elizabeth?" he snapped. "And everytime I think I'm past it you go and do this."  
  
"No. This is a first Robert."  
  
"It's no different." He stood up and began walking away – slowly like he had not place to go.  
  
"Yes it is bloody different!" she followed him and grabbed his arm and didn't let go until he looked at her.  
  
"Then what is? What's different? Other than the setting it's nothing."  
  
"I DON'T pity you. You're a big boy Robert. You can handle whatever you get thrown. I've seen you do it. You don't need me. I choose to be here. Stop thinking I'm doing you some kind of a favour. You owe me nothing."  
  
"That's not true, I owe you a helluva lot of respect to start with."  
  
"Okay." She couldn't be bothered fighting anymore.  
  
"You really aren't going to let me push you away, are you?"  
  
"I'm trying." She met his eyes.  
  
"I don't deserve that."  
  
She shrugged. "It doesn't matter."  
  
They stood in silence, looking out into darkness.  
  
"Do you want to go home?" Robert asked  
  
"Not particularly."  
  
"Good." He pulled out his phone and called for a cab.  
  
"Where are we going?" she asked.  
  
"You'll see." He grinned mischievously.  
  
"Oh, good luck beating this."  
  
"True, I'm going to have to bribe you. I saw you yawn before, how about coffee?"  
  
"Sounds perfect. But nothing's open."  
  
"You'll see." 


	3. Moonlight and Cappucino

Thanks for all the legendry reviews - so good for my ego. especially since i should be doing my english essay. Or at least writing my actual novel and not this silliness, but what can i say, i'm an addict.  
  
Anyway, enjoy!  
  
When they stopped at a deserted dark beach Elizabeth had to swallow her disappointment. He'd got her hopes up. They got out of the cab and then rather than crossing the road and going to the beach as she expected, Robert walked up to a very-much closed shop. It was an old place – with a flat above the shop. The signage was meant to look old and quaint – despite the new paint. Robert boldly knocked on the door.   
  
Nothing.  
  
He knocked again.  
  
Again, nothing.  
  
Then he picked up a stone and threw it up at the flat windows.  
  
"Hey." A muffled voice yelled inside. The window was thrown open and a head poked out, "What the hell do you think you're doing."  
  
"I'm serenading you, what do you think?" Robert threw back.  
  
"Rob!" the man in the window recognized his brother.  
  
"Ten points Jem. And a shot at the grand prize."  
  
"Fine, I'm going back to bed." Jem pretended to go inside.  
  
"Goodluck, there's plenty more rocks down here. We'll break in if necessary. You can climb drainpipes right Elizabeth."  
  
"Oh, quite the gentleman Robert, expecting your girlfriend to climb a filthy plastic pipe."  
  
Elizabeth jumped in, "You'd be surprised what they teach you a boarding school."  
  
Robert laughed, "Would you let us in already?"  
  
"Yah, I'm coming." Jem disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared at the shop door. "So what's happening?" he let them inside.  
  
"Oh, you know, we decided this was the best place for a free cup of coffee in the greater Chicago area." Robert made for the kitchen.  
  
"You got me out of bed for that?"  
  
"Well, that and the pleasure of your company." Robert teased when Jem and Elizabeth entered the kitchen. Robert busily got out 3 mugs and got to work like an old pro at Jem's espresso machine. "Oh, sorry, Elizabeth, my brother Jeremy. Jem, likewise. Got any cinnamon sticks Jem?"  
  
"No, we're out. But there's syrup in the cupboard…"  
  
"Yah, I know." Robert cut him off.  
  
"So, Elizabeth, what do you do?" Jem leaned back on the counter in his t shirt and shorts.  
  
"I'm a surgeon."  
  
"Oh, you're that Elizabeth?" Jem was quite proud of the blush spreading over Robert's face.  
  
Elizabeth laughed. "I wish I could meet you with some recognition but Robert doesn't say much."  
  
"Now I know better than that – he says a lot. Just not about himself."  
  
"True." Elizabeth nodded.  
  
"Hey – I'm in the room." Robert turned to face them and handed Elizabeth a hot frothy cup of coffee.  
  
"We know." Jem and Elizabeth chimed teasingly.  
  
"So you two, finally… Eh?" Jem asked  
  
"Ah, no. Just friends." Robert cut him off, deciding he was at his limit as far as embarrassing moments for the evening.  
  
"Oh, right. Sorry. Why?" Jem got straight to the point.  
  
"Good coffee?" Robert asked Elizabeth.  
  
"Fantastic."  
  
Robert lifted his cup to his lips, "Indeed."  
  
"Where's mine?" Jem asked.  
  
"Oh, you didn't say you wanted one? And weren't you trying to sleep?"  
  
"Thanks for looking out for me bro." Jem patted Robert on the shoulder, just a little harder than Robert appreciated, but he managed not to spill his coffee. "And on that note I have to start at eight tomorrow, so bed it is. But feel free to use my coffee, kitchen, whatever."  
  
"Oh, we will." Robert grinned as Jem disappeared up the stairs. "Thanks. Sleep well."  
  
Jem thumped the floor upstairs as if to say 'keep it down'.  
  
"Music?" Robert pointed at the radio/cassette player on the window sill.   
  
Elizabeth laughed.  
  
Robert pressed play. He was kinda hoping Jem had a metal/rock tape in their, would have been much more annoying. But soft guitar strumming resounded in the silent kitchen.  
  
'If I needed you, would you come for me?  
  
Would you come to me and ease my pain?  
  
If you needed me I would come to you  
  
I would swim the seas to ease your pain.'  
  
Elizabeth looked into her half empty coffee. Robert pressed stop.  
  
"Come see the beach." He put his mug in the sink and she followed him outside. "Leave your shoes here – we can come back, you know, if we need more coffee – we could even raid the fridge."  
  
"Jem seems like a good guy."  
  
"He is. You'd never know we were brothers hey?"  
  
"I didn't say that." She shut the door behind them and they crossed the road. "So how come you never mentioned him? And how come he never came to the hospital – all that time you were in there?"  
  
"I didn't tell him what happened till after I was out."  
  
Elizabeth looked at him quizzically. "I don't get it."  
  
"He's my little brother – you know? I don't need him looking after me. Plus he's had enough on his plate – his wife died last year, just before the accident. I mean he would have been there if I'd asked him but I didn't want to."  
  
"What did he say when you told him?"  
  
"He was furious. But he's a good guy – he forgave me. He's good at that. Practice makes perfect."  
  
"So you're good friends then?"  
  
"Yep. Weird huh?"  
  
"No, I'm jealous. Always wanted a brother."  
  
"Well, I'll lend you Jem. But I get the espresso machine."  
  
"It's a deal. I can't believe you never told me about him though."  
  
"Someone's interested." Robert teased.  
  
"Hardly." She laughed. Robert didn't reply and her laugh hung in the cold air. She wanted to explain. "I mean he's great, he's just not my type."  
  
"So what is your type?" Robert asked, fully aware he was in dangerous territory.  
  
"Um, strong – I mean he needs to be able to fight for things, fight with me, you know, and he's got to be true to his word. You know, I'm sure Jem would be but I'm not really looking."  
  
"Too soon?" Robert dared  
  
"No." she whispered and shook her head. He couldn't ask anymore, he didn't trust himself not to ask her the one question burning in the back of his throat. She knew his question. But was she ready to answer it? Was he the reason she wasn't looking? "What's the point in looking if you think you've found what you want." She forced herself to say. Honesty is the best police – she could hear her mother saying that, though she was pretty sure her mother had never said that.  
  
"Oh." Robert sounded defeated. "He's a lucky guy." No point pretending now.  
  
"Who?" she stopped walking, confused.  
  
"Dorsett right?"  
  
"Oh, gosh no. Plus he's married. I was a fool – but I wasn't even that interested, I don't care. I mean I'm pissed, he played me, but I don't really care. I ran out of that bar after you and I don't think I've stopped yet."  
  
"You want me?" he could hardly speak but he had to be sure.  
  
She nodded, then realized he couldn't really see her in the moonlight. Words weren't coming so she took his hand and squeezed it. When she let go he ran his hand up her arm, up her neck, until he was holding her face.   
  
"I need to know Elizabeth."  
  
"Yes." She whispered hoarsely. As her lips brushed his. He was paralyzed – fear this was a dream, or that she'd change her mind. She pulled him closer and kissed him softly. "I need you Robert." She kissed him again. He finally reacted. She was worth the risk. 


	4. Just Trust

Elizabeth pulled back. This was too fast. But she didn't want to let go of him. Robert smiled almost shyly at her. "We were going to walk."  
  
"Okay. Let's walk." She didn't let go of his hand and they turned toward the softly lapping water.  
  
"Why me?" he asked the silence.  
  
She laughed softly, "what do you mean?"  
  
"Why did you pick me? You could have anyone. I don't have that much to offer."  
  
"Robert humility doesn't suit you." She looked at him earnestly. "Plus, I'm not all that you think I am."  
  
"Right, love is blind." He said, before he realized what he was admitting. "Sorry."  
  
"You must think I'm blind if you think I didn't know that. Doesn't mean I understand it, but…" she tried to lighten the mood.  
  
Robert pulled her to face him. "Elizabeth, you know me. You know what you're getting. And I need to be sure that you really want that because there's only so many times that I can watch you walk away."  
  
"Trust me Robert."  
  
"It's not that easy." He looked away.  
  
"Yes it is." She lifted her hand to his face and made him look at her.  
  
"No it's not. As much as I just want to enjoy this – I know better. You've got me. All of it. Whether you want it or not. I'm completely lost. Don't you see that I'm just falling deeper and deeper? If I run now then I might surface alive. I can sound like I've got it all together but I'm terrified of you."  
  
She stood there shell-shocked. She knew it already – to some extent. But he'd just said it – spelled it out. There could be no pretending now. No games. She needed to tell him where she stood. And she needed the perfect words. NOW. None came. He tried to walk away but she still held his hand and she wouldn't let it go.  
  
"Don't go." She breathed.  
  
"I can't stay."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Self-preservation." He challenged her with his eyes.  
  
"No – don't. I have to tell you…" still. No words.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I… I… Don't walk away. Give me a chance. Surely we could be worth that." Her voice was breaking. "Just don't leave me. Not like this."  
  
"What do you want Elizabeth?"  
  
She suddenly realized she knew that. "I want you to believe that I love you. And that it doesn't matter what you do. Even if you walk away now. I don't know exactly what this is; it's fairly new to me. But I can't say goodbye."  
  
"I don't know how to believe you"  
  
"What will it take? I… LOVE… YOU." She smiled. "I really do. If I didn't then I wouldn't have returned you note, or stopped to talk to you this evening…"  
  
"Actually yesterday evening." He interrupted.  
  
She smiled and shook her head. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. Okay?"  
  
He nodded his head and almost smiled.  
  
"Don't scare me." She pleaded and touched his shoulder as if asking for permission to touch him.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Sorry." He whispered. He hadn't thought he could love her any more than he already did but apparently he was wrong. She held him tight – maybe she needed him as badly as he needed her? "I'm not very good at this." He apologized.  
  
"Neither am I." She pulled back. "So we'll stuff it up, but we'll stuff it up together."  
  
He smiled.  
  
"You should smile more. It suits you." She took his hand again.  
  
He gave her a silly grin.  
  
"That's the one," she laughed.  
  
"Good to know you're easy to please." He pushed her playfully down the beach until her feet were in the water.   
  
"Hey, that's cold." She jumped and splashed him. He just laughed at her.  
  
"Oh, toughen up." He kicked the shallow water in her direction.  
  
"Oh, you're paying for that." She kicked water at him.  
  
"Hey, hey. I have not-so-water resistant parts." He turned so his prosthetic was protected by the rest of his body.  
  
"That's so not fair." She stopped splashing and returned to his side. "If you're gonna give it you've got to be able to take it."  
  
"You're no fun." He took her hand, grinning innocently.  
  
She shook her head in mock disapproval. "I will have my revenge."  
  
"Oh, gosh, what have I done now?"  
  
"You have no idea."  
  
"What makes you so sure I can't read your mind?" he asked mischievously.   
  
"Yeah, okay." She slipped her arm around his waist and turned her head to face him as they walked. "Go for it."  
  
"Ummm…" he hummed. "You are thinking about how cold your feet are? No. You want more coffee?"  
  
"Try again."  
  
"Do I get a hint?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"You want to go to bed – I mean, not with me, I mean…" he fumbled.  
  
She laughed at his nervousness, "No. But it does have something to do with you."  
  
"You're wondering if I'll ever guess what you're thinking." He grinned, "Gotcha!"  
  
"No. I was wondering if you were going to kiss me again." She looked straight ahead as they kept walking as if she'd never said it.  
  
He stopped walking and held her hand so she was forced to stop and face him. "I don't think I could resist," he touched her chin and kissed her softly. Then he drew back to look at her as he ran his hand along her jaw line and down her neck and arm. He took her hand in his and lifted to her lips, covering it in kisses. Then he worked his way back up her arm, her neck. When he finally reached her mouth she was desperate for it.  
  
They soon tired of the beach and returned to the shop for their shoes.  
  
"Four hours till dawn." Robert looked at his watch. "We should probably get some sleep."  
  
"I want to go home." Elizabeth admitted. She was tired. But she didn't want to say goodnight or goodbye.  
  
"Yeah. We can share a taxi." Robert phoned for a cab and wrote a quick thank you note to his brother then they went to wait outside.  
  
When they got to Elizabeth's Robert told the driver to wait while he walked her to the door.  
  
"Stay." She asked.  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to. But we're both exhausted and there's plenty of time…"  
  
"No, I didn't mean we would… I just want you to stay. I'm not ready to say goodnight yet."  
  
"Elizabeth you can't stop yawning."  
  
"So, I may not be the greatest company. Please?"  
  
Robert knew he'd lost that battle. "Yeah." He nodded and went to pay the driver. 


	5. GOOD morning

Elizabeth left the door open and went to change out of her work clothes.   
  
"Elizabeth?" he called when he entered. He'd never been there before and wasn't sure where he should or shouldn't be.  
  
"I'll be right down." She called down the stairs.  
  
"Oh, right." He shut the front door and waited for her.  
  
"Make yourself at home." She smiled, descending the stairs. She was in a comfortable old pair of jeans and a baby blue woolen cardigan, her hair loose around her shoulders. He couldn't tear his eyes away.  
  
"What?" she questioned his quirky smile.  
  
He cocked his head to one side, "It's not fair." He shook his head.  
  
She questioned his statement but said nothing.  
  
"You're stunning."  
  
She pretended to curtsy in reply and walked through to the kitchen, flicking on the electric jug as she passed. "Coffee?" she got two mugs down from the cupboard.  
  
"Only if you are." He leaned against the counter watching her.  
  
"I'm having tea but it's no bother." She turned to him.  
  
"Tea sounds great."  
  
"Yeah, it does. It's a sleepy drink. You like plain, or herbal?"  
  
"Whatever you're having."  
  
"Robert, you've never been so polite in your life."   
  
"Impressed?" he crossed the kitchen to be closer to her, and of course, to pick his tea.  
  
"It's too late for that," she turned to him "Apple, Lemon, Rasberry, Echinacea, Green or English Breakfast."  
  
"Wow, quite the selection."  
  
"Well, while you choose, do you want sugar or honey, and I think there's lemon juice in the fridge."  
  
"I really don't know that much about teas. Really – whatever you're having."  
  
"Lemon tea with lemon and honey then."  
  
Robert nodded.  
  
She set to making them and handed him his. He went to take a sip.  
  
"It's too hot, and it hasn't had a chance to draw yet." She instructed. "Just bring it with you." She turned off the light in the kitchen one her way out. He followed, still unsure of himself in her home. She led him out onto the balcony and put her tea on a small glass table. "I'm just going to grab a blanket." She disappeared back inside.  
  
'Right.' Robert said quietly, 'Pull yourself together.' He sat down on the sturdy cane sofa. Then he got up and slipped his feet out of his shoes, put them on the other side of the door, out of the way, and sat down again. Nervously he stirred his tea. He never thought he'd be here. And now he was; his mind was such a storm he didn't know what to think or do or say. Honesty had served him well so far. But they were going very fast, and faster you go the more damage you do to the brake pads. Nice analogy but his fuddled mind couldn't put two and two together, let alone figure out if their relationship could be compared to a motor vehicle…  
  
"Here you go." Elizabeth handed him a blanket and sat beside him tucking her feet under herself and opening her own blanket over her. "Sun'll be up in a few hours." She took her tea, stirred and sipped, closed her eyes as the hot liquid warmed her from the inside out.  
  
Robert opened his blanket over him and sipped his tea, not sure what to do next. "Elizabeth." He said softly – his voice sounded louder in the dark  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thank you for tonight."  
  
She smiled softly, taking his breath away… again.  
  
"I never thought I'd be here." He pushed on, "and, I always thought it'd be, I mean, you'd be amazing, but this…" he looked out over the dark city, spotted with lights and tucked his feet under him on the sofa, so aware of brushing her legs with his own that he forgot that he was talking.  
  
She turned her body so she was sitting cross-legged, facing him. "This…?"  
  
"Oh, right…" he desperately tried to remember what he'd been saying, let alone what he was about to say… nothing. "I forget." He let his eyes linger on her face. "I'm just a little awe-struck." He shrugged.  
  
She smiled and took his hand, lifting it to her lips. He turned to face her and watched her kiss his hand, savoring the touch, aware of every cell she effected.  
  
When she returned to her tea she didn't let go of his hand.  
  
"You comfortable?" she put her empty cup on the table beside her and took his from his hand, grazing her hand against his leg.  
  
"Not really." He smiled at her, like laughing was too loud for the darkness. "But the sofa is fine, the blanket is great and the company is perfect. I'm just not used to feeling this out of my depth."  
  
Elizabeth looked thoughtful for a moment then stood up, throwing her blanket over him playfully and went inside. He was confused until he heard the music she'd turned on. Sounded like an old one. Piano tinkering like the bar in Casablanca. A jazzy saxophone. Elizabeth returned to the sofa and shook both blankets over them.  
  
Billie Holiday's husky voice sang 'every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven… don't you know each cloud contains pennies from heaven…'  
  
"Is that Billie Holiday?" Robert turned to ask, surprised at how close Elizabeth was now. She nodded and held his eye contact. "Good taste." He reached up and tucked a tendril of her hair behind her ear. Time seemed to stop. Robert started singing very quietly along with the next track, "The very thought of you, and I forget to do, those little ordinary things, that everyone ought to do. I'm living in a kind of daydream…" he kissed her forehead, "The mere idea of you, the longing here for you. You'll never know how slow the moments go until I'm near to you. I see your face in every flower, your eyes in stars above, it's just the thought of you the very thought of you my love."  
  
She was entranced by the depth of his eyes. He was right – the idea of this was good, but this… took her breath away. And then he kissed her and did it again. She shut her eyes to savor the touch of his lips on hers. It was so soft, as though he feared she'd disappear. She ran her hands across his chest, under his arms, pulling him closer.   
  
"Elizabeth." He muttered breathlessly  
  
"Mmm." She moaned.  
  
"You drive me crazy." He pulled back just enough to look at her.  
  
She laughed. "Don't think for a moment that you're the only one affected by this."  
  
He nodded, his face inches from hers. She pulled him into am embrace, burying her head in his shoulder.  
  
"It's getting lighter." He whispered into her hair.  
  
She twisted her body around, so her feet were on the arm rest, lying back against his chest, watching the horizon. He lifted one leg so she lay between them and played absentmindedly with her hair.   
  
When the sun first peaked over the horizon his head leaning on hers. He held her hands, their fingers interlaced on her lap. He kissed her temple, not wanting to spoil the moment with words. She turned her head to see his face, amazed at the love she found there. He'd said he loved her, but once again, this… took her breath away. 


	6. Stay

A few days later…  
  
Robert bit his lip to keep from grinning as he strolled into work. He hadn't strolled into work for as long as he could remember – he usually walked from his car to the hospital but today it was verging on a strut. He ignored the pile of files on the front desk – not even thinking to make some snide comment about how useless the ER staff were.  
  
Susan watched him suspiciously but quickly got drawn back into her patient.  
  
All day Robert said very little. Anyone who commented on his good mood got a little bit of the torrent they expected. Like when Pratt, bless his soul, said "someone got some for the first time in ten years" Romano nicely handed him an infected rash, two convenient STIs and a vomiting kid, with a wave of the hand and calmly directed, "he really has the perfect surname" at Jerry, who didn't quite know how to handle being on that side of Romano's sarcasm. Everyone was so baffled they proceeded to ignore him – just as he had hoped they would. And when he left the ER ten hours later he managed to stroll back to his car without the usual fuming scowl and dramatic tossing of his cap.  
  
Elizabeth heard rumours. She was on that night, and the nurses must have been running out of gossip because Romano's good mood was still their topic of conversation an hour after his shift had finished. His mood and the potential female causes.  
  
Elizabeth smiled and moved on until she heard her name.  
  
"There's always been something with those two – I mean he's fancied her from the word go but she never looked at him twice unless he was yelling at her."  
  
"True, but she was yelling back and she wouldn't have bothered if she hated him – she would have escaped like everyone else."  
  
"I'll believe it when I see it. Plus, it hasn't been that long since Dr Green."  
  
"It's been a year and plus, she had that thing with what's his name."  
  
"Yeah, but that was different. Did you see Romano's face – that was a grin. I didn't know his face stretched that far except in spite."  
  
They laughed. Elizabeth walked out of earshot and she was kind of grateful for it. She went into her office. She'd had one surgery and now she was on call for the ER till the early hours of the morning. She had a stack of paperwork and not nearly enough coffee. She put an Enya CD on in the dark then shut the door and stood in the dark listening to the soft music. Peace – that was what she needed. Everything was changing – moving very fast. New job, but mostly, new THING with Robert. Whatever it was. It was a good thing but that didn't stop it from being confusing and even scary. She stretched out her neck and took several deep breaths before turning on her desk lamp.   
  
There on the desk was a rose. A yellow rose. She sat on her chair and looked at it for a moment before searching for a note.  
  
"I looked at the red ones but I know this is going very fast. Good, but fast. Yellow for friendship right? Love, Robert."  
  
She grinned and smelled the rose sentimentally.  
  
A few minutes later she had it in a vase and was desperately trying to concentrate on the memo in front of her. Unfortunately her eyes kept drifting to the single yellow rose casting it's delicate shadow on her phone. 'It's a sign' she thought, 'I want to talk to him, the rose points to the phone, so I should just call him.' So she did. But he wasn't there. 'But ages ago. Just before I got here. That's weird.' She tried again. No change in the ringing sound. No answer. But this time she left a message.  
  
Just as she got focused back on her memo someone knocked at her door.  
  
"Come in." She said absentmindedly, finishing the sentence she was reading and putting her finger on the full-stop so she could find her place again. She forgot everything she'd just read when Robert closed the door behind himself.  
  
"Good evening." He stepped timidly into his old office. Happy all day, rumour had it, and now timid – who was this and what had they done with Robert?  
  
"Hey." She smiled and stood up. "I just called you."  
  
"Oh. Really. Well, it's your lucky day, the gods must have known so they sent you the real thing instead."  
  
"Thank you for the rose – it's perfect. Even matches the décor." She tried to keep it light as she stepped around the desk and sat on the other side of it facing him.  
  
"Not really," he looked around, then his eyes inevitably landed back on her, "but you improve the effect."  
  
"Oh, aren't you the charmer? I didn't know you had it in you."  
  
"Well, allow me to prove you wrong."  
  
"No, you'd enjoy it too much." She teased  
  
"Oh, well, let me try." He handed her a paper bag. "Supplies." He explained as she unfolded the top.  
  
She pulled out a paper mug of hot coffee and a gift-wrapped box of chocolate covered coffee beans. "You read my mind." She smelt the coffee.  
  
"Scary thought?" he teased, stepping closer to her.  
  
She nodded, putting the gift on her desk beside her and leaning in to kiss him. "Thank you."  
  
"Pleasure's mine." He shook his head.  
  
"This is too much." She laughed at his gentility.  
  
"It's just coffee and chocolate."  
  
"No, I mean the charming thing."  
  
"Well, you bring out the best."  
  
"But it's not real. Tell me what you really want to say – what you're thinking."  
  
"Okay." He accepted what she'd said faster than she'd expected. He took a deep breath and stepped away from her as though he needed a clear head. He looked out the window to the skyline, which was habitually lit like a Christmas tree. "I'm thinking that you are stunning." He turned back to her. "I want to say," he thought for a moment, "that you go to my head. But I'll save you the pain of listening to me sing it – I'll let Billy Holiday do the honours. I want to say I adore you. I've had a good day – which is surprising considering the circumstances, then I come here, two hours after I leave work I'm back, which is usually a bad thing, and it somehow makes this good day even better. I can see the Chicago skyline with one eye but I prefer you. Sitting on your desk beside a rose I gave you. I was being honest before. The pleasure really is mine."  
  
"Mine too." She whispered, looking at him, amazed at what he'd said.  
  
"Your turn – what are you thinking?"  
  
She sighed, "I'm thinking I have an awful lot of work to do and your being here is a serious risk to that. And I'm thinking I should care more than I do that that paperwork needs to be done by tomorrow night. And it might just be possible. But the odds are not in it's favour – they weren't before you got here, but now… what's the point? I'm thinking that I don't deserve the look in your eyes and that you're standing far too far away from me." At that he stepped toward her, smiling softly. She continued, her heart speeding up, "I'm thinking that my mind has gone completely blank."  
  
He stopped her with a kiss so desperate it took away what little breath she had left.  
  
Eventually he pulled back. "The whole slowing down plan is about to go out the window," he warned her.  
  
"What plan?" she teased.  
  
He smiled as he gave into her kiss again.  
  
"This one." He forced himself to pull back and took a step away from her.  
  
"Probably a good plan." She smiled mischievously.  
  
"Maybe. Doesn't feel so good." He nodded "Drink your coffee before it goes cold."  
  
She picked up the mug and drank if fairly fast as it wasn't so hot anymore. She offered him a chocolate covered coffee bean and then took a couple for herself. "I should probably get onto this," she gestured to the pile of paper on her desk, "but the caffeine will hopefully make up for the distraction you are."  
  
"My apologies. If I were your boss I'd understand, I'd let you off the hook…"  
  
"Ha!" Elizabeth cut him off, "Wasn't so long ago, my memory is a little more vivid than yours obviously."  
  
"Well, it was worth a try." He grinned  
  
Elizabeth laughed.  
  
"Gosh, you're beautiful." He breathed.  
  
She smiled at him. "I don't want you to go. And not cause my ego is growing a mile a minute. Just…" she wasn't sure what she wanted exactly, "stay?"  
  
"Only if I can nap on your sofa – I'm on again tomorrow morning. My best instincts tell me I should go home to bed but I think my body and all the rest of it might just downright refuse."  
  
"Well, I'm pretty keen on your body and all the rest of it – instincts are overrated."  
  
"Ta, I'm keen on your body to, but I didn't plan on coming right out and saying it."  
  
She laughed, returning to her chair, "you're distracting me. Make yourself at home, but keep it down."  
  
"Yes ma'am." He fell back on the couch. "Oh, I remember this. Many a peaceful night. Never long enough though."  
  
"No, they never are. Try having a daughter."  
  
"I'll borrow her sometime," he lay down, rearranging the pillows under his head.  
  
"Careful, I might just take you up on that – unless you expect to get paid for babysitting."  
  
"Only if you're offering. You know my folks haven't put my allowance up in years – a bit of pocket money wouldn't go astray." He yawned.  
  
"Goodnight Robert." She started reading the memo from the top. 


	7. legal addictive stimulants

Robert woke when sunlight hit his face. His eyes fluttered open but he couldn't see a thing. He COULD feel though – his back, crooked and aching, his feet cold, hanging over the end of… his eyes adjusted… a couch? He forced himself to sit up. It was his office – wait, no, OLD office. Elizabeth's office. He smiled slightly and rubbed his eyes, swinging his legs onto the floor.   
  
Elizabeth was asleep at her desk, hunched over, head resting on a forearm, hair sprawled delightfully all over the place.  
  
Robert slipped his feet into his shoes and tiptoed out.  
  
Elizabeth woke when she heard the door close. She sat up though every muscle in her back objected. She looked at the couch, disappointed that he was gone and trying to convince herself she wasn't. Had he JUST left? Or was that just her overactive imagination combined with tiredness and all those falling-in-love again emotions that we all know are very effective at completely throwing off your sanity. 'Can't be them.' She insisted, checking the coffee cup Robert had brought her last night. Empty. Gutted. It would have been cold and semi-solidified but legal addictive stimulants hit the spot other things won't. Other things? Like those chocolate covered coffee beans. Where had she put them? Oh, there's got to be some left or she'd never have slept. Flip, how long had she been asleep? She looked at them memo in front of her trying to remember if it was the one she'd been looking at when Robert had walked in. Then she realized, as discouraging as that would have been, she didn't care. She wanted to know two things – where were the coffee beans, and where was Robert – or was he coming back?  
  
The door swung open and there he was, all lit up from the rising sun like some kind of angel or superhero in a b-grade movie. Plus, he was holding two steaming paper cups – assumabley full of coffee. Elizabeth was up in a flash.  
  
"My hero." She took the offered cup and sipped desperately.  
  
"You're scary before you've had your coffee." He grinned at her and lifted his own cup to his lips.  
  
"Long night eh?" someone said as they passed in the hallway. Both Robert and Elizabeth turned but didn't care who it was. Robert shut the door.  
  
"You know I got nothing done last night?" Elizabeth sat back on the edge of her desk.  
  
"Yes, I had my suspicions. You're a disgrace to the surgical department, nay, the entire medical profession… Internationally. In fact your father will be on the phone in moments."  
  
Elizabeth laughed. "I think I need to go home. To sleep."  
  
Robert nodded. "The caffeine hit will help you there."  
  
"You're a bad influence. You know that?"  
  
"I delight in it." He finished his coffee. "But, I'll be the gentleman and take you home."  
  
"You're not working?"  
  
"Maybe. Unless I get a better offer."  
  
"There are definitely some head-of-department perks I'm missing out on." She quipped, taking his cup from him and putting them both in the rubbish bin.  
  
He nodded. "See, my excellent tutelage prepared you for the worst."  
  
"Indeed. But I didn't expect it could be this bad. I mean, a lady expects to have her chocolate covered coffee-bean rights respected."  
  
"A lady?" he pointed to the table at the end of the sofa. "I needed a midnight snack." He said by way of an explanation.  
  
She pretended to look shocked – whether it was at his theft or insinuation that she wasn't a lady, he wasn't sure. "Well, since your excellent supply of coffee has destroyed my plans for a morning nap we're going to need these," she picked up the half-gone box of coffee beans, "in order to… function today."  
  
"Indeed." He nodded. "Shall we?" he opened the door.  
  
*~~~*  
  
Apologies that the next post won't be for a few days as I'm going on holiday. Try ten days in Australia! Yay! I go tomorrow and I'm not even packed! And it's 10:41 pm here. Crikey. Well, I'm all achy. Off to Bedfordshire. 


	8. thinlydisguised blessings

Flip, more than ten days – just realized how long I've been slacking off for. Actually I've been way-too-involved in my Mark/Susan story. But enough excuses, back to the action.   
  
**  
  
"Someone wanted a consult." Elizabeth pushed open the doors of exam two.  
  
"That's us." Robert's face visibly lit up on her entrance.  
  
Pratt presented the case. Robert did his usual snark just to make sure Pratt's head didn't get too far up his own ass and then Elizabeth nodded and signed the chart. "You can take him up." Elizabeth looked at Pratt so that she'd be left with Robert for a moment.  
  
"Sure." Pratt pushed the gurney out just as Elizabeth stepped in his path. The side of the bed hit her roughly in the stomach almost winding her and throwing off her balance. She stumbled back blinking and gasping.  
  
Pratt apologized profusely.  
  
"Just go." She insisted – that patient needed to get upstairs. "Go on."  
  
"Do you need directions?" Robert took the other side of the bed and wheeled it as far as the door. Pratt took over looking the epitome of regret and Robert rushed back into the room. "Are you okay?" he held her shoulder familiarly.  
  
"Yeah." She took a controlled deep breath. "I just…" she screwed up her face as she flexed her ankle. "Damn it, I think I turned my ankle."  
  
"Come on." Robert put one hand around her waist and led her to a chair. He knelt in front of her and watched her face to guage her pain as he removed one shoe. He rested her ankle on his knee and rolled up the leg of her scrubs.  
  
She smiled at him and shook her head, "You shouldn't be enjoying this."  
  
He chuckled. "The pot calls the kettle black."  
  
She just looked shocked. "I rolled my ankle, yah, highlight of the day."  
  
"No, I'm the highlight of the day." He smiled at her cheekily and returned to examining your foot.  
  
"Has anyone ever told you that you have a very healthy ego? Ow!" she yelped – he'd tried to flex her ankle.  
  
"No need to ask if that hurt. But it's just a sprain. I'll grab a bandage." He stood.  
  
"I'm pretty sure that's a nurse's job."  
  
"I'm having way to much fun." He disappeared but soon returned with, "and no, no one has ever mentioned that I have a healthy ego. Though I'm pretty sure they could think of other words to describe it.  
  
"I can understand that."  
  
He pretended to look offended for a moment before the playfulness returned to his eyes. "How does that feel?"  
  
"About the same. But thank you."  
  
He kissed the top of her foot. "And now?"  
  
"Save it for Ella." She laughed at him.  
  
"She is the easier one to please."  
  
"Hm, the lesser of two evils." Elizabeth went to stand up and he put his arm around her to help her. "So, how am I supposed to get out of here and back to my office without causing a scene."  
  
"Well, we could climb out the window and go up the drainpipe but I'm afraid I'm only Spiderman at night."  
  
"Really? Well there's something to look forward too." She flirted, laughing at herself.  
  
"Or…" he tried to compose himself, 'gosh, she's amazing', "you could bare with the humiliation of walking through the ER with your arm around my shoulder and use me as a crutch."  
  
"They'll probably just assume we've finally decided to make our relationship public." She shrugged, putting her arm around his shoulder and testing her weight on her strapped foot.  
  
"And they'll be suggesting names for our first child before we've even slept together." He grinned.  
  
He looked so good when he smiled – and he seemed to be doing it a lot more.   
  
"Well, we haven't had sex but technically we have 'slept' together." She said as they hobbled through the door.  
  
"Nice timing." Robert mumbled as several heads turned to them.  
  
"We're doing well." Elizabeth slapped one hand across her mouth.  
  
"Might as well put the icing on the cake." He replied under his breath, turned to face her and kissed her quickly full on the mouth. She could barely respond for laughing. He turned back and she had to hobble double-time to keep up.   
  
"Back to surgery." She said, hopelessly trying to keep from outright laughing but as the doors of the elevator closed they both cracked up. They would have loved to see the surprised faces that watched those doors close. Elizabeth leant back on one wall and Robert stood opposite, both laughing so hard it hurt. She managed to control their breathing enough so that when they hobbled off into the surgical floor they were only smiling silly smiles. They disappeared into Elizabeth's office and collapsed onto the couch.  
  
"I can't believe you did that." Elizabeth smiled at him, shaking her head.  
  
"I couldn't resist." He shrugged. "I rarely can." He leaned in and kissed her again, but this time she did respond.  
  
"I should get back to work." She pulled back and hopped across the room, sitting heavily in her desk chair.  
  
"Yeah, novel idea. Not all that appealing." Robert slouched back on the couch lazily.  
  
"Yeah, you have to go back down there in the near future." Elizabeth teased him, glad it wasn't her.  
  
"Well, unless… I mean, you know if your ankle were bad then someone would have to take you home and, doctors orders would definitely be to keep off it. So you're going to need someone to help you out, you know get Ella's meals, make coffee, change the television channel."  
  
"This is pathetic." She shook her head, laughing.  
  
"But it just might work." He let the question sit in his eyes.  
  
She had to admit it, going home sounded good. And she could take most of this paperwork with her – though if she were honest that wouldn't necessarily mean that it got done any quicker. Damn it he was good. "Do you want to go and get Ella from daycare and I'll…"  
  
He cut her off, "Ah, ah." Shook his head, "You're not walking. You can't stay away forever, they need you here. So you need to heal quick."  
  
"So this for the good of the hospital?" she stared at him incredulously.   
  
"Absolutely." He overcompensated then laughed again.  
  
She shook her head and rolled her eyes for his benefit. "Alright." She picked up a satchel and put a stack of papers in it, passed Robert her other bag and hopped over to him, picking her keys up with her little finger.  
  
"Here." He took them from her and opened the door. She hopped out and he locked up behind them before taking her weight, helping her hobble down to daycare.  
  
"Can you carry her?" Elizabeth asked him as they went in.  
  
"Sure." He left Elizabeth at the desk to sign Ella out and went in to find her.  
  
Ella giggled and stood up when she saw him, walking over to him confidently.  
  
"Hello." He crouched down beside her.  
  
"Hello." She mimicked.  
  
"You ready to go?"   
  
She nodded and took his offered hand, yawning.  
  
"Is it that bad? I never enjoyed daycare either." He didn't expect an answer.  
  
"That's cause you're a grown up. This is for kids." Gosh she sounded like her mother. Robert just laughed, looking at her.  
  
"Hey Ella." Elizabeth smiled at the image of the two of them walking hand-in-hand toward her. Ella dropped Robert's hand and ran to Elizabeth, who crouched to hug her daughter. "Hey. How's my girl?"  
  
Ella nodded enthusiastically. "Robert picked me up today."  
  
"I know. Mummy hurt her foot so he's going to take us home."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I fell over, but I'm okay, I just have to be careful." Elizabeth explained. She reached over and took Robert's hand, standing up shakily on one foot. "Come on." She turned around as Robert picked up Ella. He looked like a packhorse with Elizabeth's satchel over his shoulder, Ella at one hip and Elizabeth at the other.  
  
"Guess that make's it official." The heard someone say behind them.  
  
"We're on a roll." Elizabeth murmured into his ear.   
  
"Yeah, such a shame about your foot." Robert shook his head tsk-ing.   
  
"Hey!" she pushed him away playfully. Only she actually pushed herself away because Robert had two feet to keep him up. Ella and Robert laughed, watching Elizabeth hop around in circles before colliding with/grabbing the wall.  
  
"Come here." He slipped his arm around her waist. "She's crazy." He pretended to whisper to Ella.  
  
"Oh no, she's on my team." Elizabeth hopped along.  
  
Ella just laughed.  
  
"You think that Lizzy."  
  
She wanted to pretend to be annoyed but she couldn't pull it off. Plus, he called her Lizzy and that pretty much blew any resolve. 


	9. reality is better than fantasy

Robert put their plates away and returned to the lounge, flicking through her cds and putting on Van Morrison.  
  
Elizabeth came back into the room two lines into 'Moondance'. She couldn't see Robert but then he waltzed in carrying two full wineglasses, singing, "And all the night's magic seems to whisper and hush. And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush. Can I just have one more moon dance with you, my love…?"  
  
She laughed and took the offered glass. "I might be a bit clumsy dancing tonight."  
  
"Can I just make some more romance with you… my love?"  
  
"Well, I can't say no to that?" she said seductively.  
  
He laughed. Then he took her wine glass off her and put it beside his on the table. "Come on…" he took her hand and pulled her close. She put one arm around his shoulder to carry her weight and hopped on the spot, trying not to laugh at their ridiculous attempt at dancing. 'Someone like you' was playing now.  
  
"Robert…" she laughed and stopped hopping.  
  
He stepped back, still holding her. "You're stunning." He let his eyes linger over her laughing face.  
  
Her laughter faded to an adoring smile. She didn't want him to leave tonight. He leant in to kiss her but once again he pulled back as soon has he got too involved.  
  
"I should go." He looked around the room with no idea where he'd put his coat or his keys or anything.  
  
"Don't go." She stayed where she was – mainly because walking was more difficult than usual.  
  
"Oh, I think I left my coat in Ella's room, be right back." He took the stairs two at a time. His coat was on the floor where he'd left it when Ella was showing him some new toy. He picked it up, hating to leave but knowing staying was a big step. He crossed the room to say goodnight to Ella. She was still awake, humming softly to herself quite happily.  
  
"Hey." He smiled, sitting on the side of her bed.  
  
"Are you going to bed now?" Ella asked  
  
"Yup, home to bed. How come you're not sleeping?"  
  
"I'm not tired."  
  
"Oh. I have an idea."  
  
"What?" her eyes widened in suspense.  
  
Robert grinned at the reaction. "If you shut your eyes. I'll sing you a song. Maybe that will help."  
  
"Okay." She shut her eyes tight.  
  
"Is it okay if I call you mine? Just for a time? And I will be just fine, if I know that you know that I'm wanting, needing your love… ohohooooh… If I ask you, is it alright, if I ask you to ho-o-old me tight, through a cold dark night. Cause there may be a cloudy day in sight. And I need to let you know that I might… be needing your love… ohohooooh…"  
  
Elizabeth wondered what was taking so long and starting hobbling toward the stairs, expecting to see him at the top. He wasn't so she hopped up the stairs trying to be as quiet as possible. At the top she stopped and heard him,   
  
"What I'm trying to say isn't really new… it's just the things that happen to me when I'm reminded of you… like when I hear your name, or see a place where you've been, or see a picture of your grin, pass a house that you lived in one time or another… it sets off something in me I can't explain, and I… can't wait to see you again. Oh babe, I love your love." He let his voice drop into silence and when Ella didn't open her eyes he stood slowly. He stopped when he saw Elizabeth in the doorway. He lifted one finger to his lips and crept out, shutting the door behind him.  
  
Elizabeth opened her bedroom door and went in. Robert waited at the threshold.  
  
"You can come in," she said frustrated. "I just don't want to wake Ella by talking in her room and the prospect of those stairs is making my foot ache."  
  
He stepped in and shut the door, standing only a few feet from it.  
  
"Don't go." She turned to face him. She knew he'd heard her last time but he was obviously ignoring it.  
  
"If I stay that changes everything." He said, trying not to look at her. "You know I want to, but then…  
  
"You give yourself away." She smiled cheekily, "but the plan was to take things slowly. And that was weeks ago."  
  
"That's not the point Elizabeth. I've wanted this for years. I don't want to mess it up."  
  
"Have a little faith in yourself Robert. Have a little faith in me."  
  
He swallowed, meeting her eyes. He shook his head with a smile, "I still don't believe it." he touched her face adoringly.  
  
"What?" she smiled, hoping he'd stop doubting himself.  
  
"You. You're… breathtaking."  
  
"You're biased."  
  
He nodded and held her eyes until it was all she could do not to kiss him. He had to make this decision.  
  
How was he supposed to leave now? He wanted to wait until it was perfect. She was wounded, and he was maimed. It wasn't the fantasy.   
  
It was better.   
  
It was real.   
  
He could smell her, he could feel her warmth, her soft skin under his fingertips.  
  
Her heart sunk. He wasn't going to stay. He'd hesitated too long. She knew that she could probably convince him to stay if she really wanted to but it shouldn't be like that. She stepped away from his tentative touch on her cheek and sat on the edge of her bed.  
  
"What are you afraid of?" she said sensitively.  
  
He knelt on the floor in front of her and put his hands on her bed on either side of her.  
  
"Do you know how hard it is for me to go home each night?"  
  
"Yeah I do. It's about the same as watching you go home every night."  
  
"You want me to stay?" he looked into her eyes like a child who really didn't know what she'd say.  
  
She nodded.  
  
He reached up and touched her face with his hand before kissing her desperately. She kissed him back, unbuttoning his shirt – what about his arm? She stopped kissing him, letting him trail kisses down her neck as she slid onto her knees on the floor. She slid her hands up his chest and over his shoulders. He pulled his arms back helping her to remove his shirt. He stopped realizing he was still wearing his prosthetic. He knelt in front of her on the floor, humble and afraid for a moment. Then he caught the look in her eyes and pulled her to her feet. He removed the prosthetic and his shirt and stood in front of her waiting. She ran one hand over the stump tentatively.  
  
"It's a good thing you don't have buttons." He slipped his hand under her sweater, running his fingers over her warm skin around to the small of her back. He sought her lips desperately and only pulled away to remove her sweater. 


	10. you took the words right out of my mouth

"Mama," Ella said confidently pushing open Elizabeth's bedroom door. Robert heard her, suddenly grateful they'd replaced their clothing after that last time. He opened his eyes and saw Elizabeth's head turn away from him. She sat up.  
  
"Hey." She said as Ella jumped up onto the bed.  
  
"You had a sleepover!" Ella said excitedly.  
  
"Yeah." Elizabeth pulled Ella's bouncing form onto her lap, hugging her playfully  
  
Ella giggled. "Can I have a sleepover?"  
  
"We'll see." Elizabeth carried the cliché line perfectly. She turned to Robert knowing he couldn't have slept through that.  
  
"Good morning." He smiled sleepily.  
  
"Sorry about the wake up call." Elizabeth grinned.  
  
"No, best wake up call in my living memory." He pulled Ella from her mothers lap and laughed, "Gotcha!"  
  
Ella squealed, wriggling and laughing.  
  
Elizabeth watched amazed. He was amazing. "Ella?" she said fairly quietly.  
  
"Yeah?" Ella asked and they both stopped the game.  
  
"If you go make your bed then I'll think about that sleepover."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Elizabeth nodded.  
  
Ella bounded off.  
  
"Really?" Robert mimicked.  
  
Elizabeth's smile faded as she leaned over him, sinking into him as she kissed him. "I love you." She whispered into his lips. He kissed her harder but she pulled away, "Ella could be back any minute."  
  
"True." He sat up and looked at the figure lying beside him. "You're beautiful in the morning."  
  
She yawned, grinning. "I'm exhausted. Maybe we should find Ella a friend to sleepover with. I could do with the rest."  
  
"I can think of better things to do with that time." He kissed her softly. "But right now there is breakfast to be made. And if I don't stop grinning my face is going to start aching."  
  
She laughed and pulled him back for another kiss. "Thank you for staying."  
  
He shook his head, "Leaving was the hard part."  
  
"Well, nonetheless, thank you for last night, it was…"  
  
"My pleasure." He grinned cheekily.  
  
"You took the words right out of my mouth." She replied in turn.  
  
"It must have been while you were kissing me." He sang, collapsing in giggles.  
  
"All done." Ella announced her entrance.  
  
"Breakfast time." Robert jumped out of bed and swept Ella of her feet, telling Elizabeth to take her time before he descended the stairs with Ella tucked under his arm, flying like superman, or supergirl, or something.  
  
Elizabeth laughed at him and threw the covers off, making for the shower, testing her sensitive ankle. It was a bit stronger. Showering wouldn't be too dangerous. Easier with Robert's help of course, but Ella might get some interesting ideas about sleepovers. Try explaining that one to her friend's parents. Elizabeth laughed at herself.  
  
Twenty minutes later she made her way downstairs, glad to be in clean clothes, feeling a little more presentable. The laughing eyes that met her entrance to the kitchen, over the top of her daughter's blonde hair, made her breath catch in her throat. She slipped her hand around his waist, kissing Ella's forehead then Robert's lips. "So, what's that smell?"  
  
"I haven't had a chance to get a shower yet," he offered mock-apologetically.  
  
She laughed, "I meant breakfast."  
  
"What have we got Ella?"  
  
"Toast."  
  
"I was in there for ages. You came up with toast? I dunno… you set yourself up you know. After last night's amazing dinner, I was expecting gourmet three times a day." She extracted Ella from his arm.  
  
"Well, last night I had two hands. This morning, one of them is still on your dresser." He kissed her. "Be right back." He took off.  
  
For a moment she thought she may have been too quick. But then she saw what page he had the cookbook open to – she couldn't even pronounce the title. But it looked good. She shook her head laughing and turned to Ella. "Good morning sweetie."  
  
"Morning Mama."  
  
"What would you like for breakfast?"  
  
"Chocolate!" Ella suggested without a moment's consideration.  
  
"Good luck talking her out of it." Robert returned.  
  
"I don't even bother. I just give her cereal and fruit and let her whine. She knows the answer."  
  
"Then it's just plain cruel to ask her what she wants for breakfast."  
  
"Oh no. No you don't. you may have won her dear little heart," Elizabeth filled a plastic bowl with unnaturally coloured cereal, "and you may cook better than I ever will, but if you critique my parenting be assured I will wring your neck."  
  
"And there's only so many appendages I can afford to lose." He pulled her into his embrace, loving her feisty banter, and being way-too-tempted to rip her clothes off then and there. But then her stomach rumbled and he felt it against his. "So, how about that breakfast?" he spun her out of his embrace.  
  
"Well, I'll do the coffee," she flicked on the electric jug, "I think I can handle that."  
  
"Don't worry, I can't replace you. Falling asleep on my chest just doesn't have quite the same effect." He pushed the boundaries of the conversations they were allowed to have in front of Ella.  
  
Elizabeth laughed, putting an extra teaspoon of instant coffee into his mug as revenge. 


	11. lifesavers

Note to reader: you might want to watch 'freefall' to understand the worst case scenario of this chapter…  
  
The elevator closed. Thank God. He could still hear the beating of the chopper blades and he wasn't breathing but at least he was safe right? He hit the button for the ground floor. He needed air.  
  
"Damn it." He muttered in a fraction of a breath. He tried to control his breathing but is just wasn't happening.  
  
Beep beep beeeeep.   
  
Pager. Nice timing. He pulled it off his belt roughly and his attitude did a somersault when he recognized Elizabeth's number. He hit the third floor button hoping he hadn't missed it. The doors opened almost immediately. Very nice timing.  
  
He was still trying to control his breathing when he knocked on her office door.  
  
"You don't have to knock, Robert."  
  
He tried to smile but his lungs and eyes had other ideas. He looked really scared.  
  
"What happened?" she got up.  
  
"Nothing." He hated this. Why the hell was he so affected by seeing a helicopter? It had been over a year. Get over it already. But no… He was angry at himself because there was nothing he could do about it and he hated that.  
  
Elizabeth was worried, he didn't look well. But she didn't get the chance to force the answers out of him because the whole floor shook. It sounded like something had exploded down the corridor.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Elizabeth pushed past him and flung the door open.  
  
Okay, just watch 'freefall'.   
  
And if your VCR decides not to tape on the most inappropriate nights, then basically the helicopter that was on the roof, freaking poor Romano out, then went out of control and crashed in the ambulance bay, making a dent in the side of the hospital on it's way down.  
  
"Bloody hell, this place is psychotic."  
  
"Took you that long to figure it out Lizzie?" he handed her a cup of coffee, if you can call it that, and sat opposite her in the surgeons lounge.  
  
"That was insane."  
  
"Yeah, helicopters eh… they should be lined up and shot."  
  
She smiled at that.  
  
"But all in all, for the most incompetent department in the hospital, the ER did okay. It could have been much worse."  
  
Was that Romano trying to be the positive one? Obviously, cause he kept going,  
  
"I have to admit I was relieved that Lewis' husband was okay."  
  
"Ex." Elizabeth grinned, "But we'll see right?"  
  
"Come on. We should get out of here." Robert stood up and offered his hand.  
  
She looked at it for a moment before she took it and let him pull her tired body off the chair. He just laughed at her, wrapped her in one arm and kissed the side of her face roughly.  
  



	12. mr president

"I'm pregnant." Susan smiled almost ironically.  
  
Robert let himself grin, watching the exchange from the desk across admittance. Then the poor woman lost her breakfast all over the floor so he cringed and turned back to his work, letting someone else call housekeeping.  
  
"Are you okay?" He heard a familiar British accent and finished what he was doing, listening to their conversation.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I'll be fine. Morning sickness." Susan had stopped walking.  
  
"Congratulations." Elizabeth said surprised but happy for her.  
  
"Thanks. So what's the cure for this?"  
  
Elizabeth laughed, "Make sure Chuck looks after you."  
  
They parted ways like old friends. Odd, Robert thought, considering their history with Mark, but he was never one to claim to understand women.  
  
"Hello." Elizabeth leant on the counter waiting for him.  
  
"Hi." He smiled and got up. "Good timing." He walked around the counter and kissed her by way of greeting before heading to the lounge to get ready to go home.  
  
"Happy birthday." She waited by the door as he went to his locker.  
  
"Thanks for sparing that from public notice." He pulled off his coat.  
  
"So, how was your day?"  
  
"It's getting better." He shut his locker and walked over to her for a proper kiss. "So… what brings you here this fine evening?"  
  
"Birthday surprise."  
  
"Oh gosh."  
  
"Hey, you might like it, you never know."  
  
"I guess I'm going to find out."  
  
"Have a little faith, I know what you like." She walked through the door he opened, "Plus Ella is staying at a friend's."  
  
"Maybe I will like it." he grinned mischievously.

* * *

  
  
She took him to an Italian restaurant: 'Romano's'. She said it was good for his ego. And that since it was his birthday she wouldn't put him through pretending to enjoy her cooking.  
  
"Thank you for this Elizabeth." He broke the silence while she unlocked her front door.  
  
She smiled graciously, "You haven't even got your present yet."  
  
She pushed the door opened and went to walk through but he grabbed her and kissed her.  
  
When he let go she laughed, "Come on, you're going to love it." She took his hand and led him inside.   
  
She dropped his hand and went into the lounge, flicking on the light and waiting for his reaction.  
  
He walked in, looking at her with a grin and shaking his head like she was up to something. Then he noticed the difference. A huge lounge chair. It was covered in dark crimson suede, with rolling armrests and everything. It looked antique but perfectly preserved.  
  
"That is great." He ran his hand along the back appreciatively, walking around to see it properly.  
  
Elizabeth was grinning. "Try it out." She put her hand on the back of the chair as he sat down.  
  
"This is perfect." He sunk into the soft leather.  
  
"I thought it was about time you got your own chair." She knelt down beside him, resting her elbows on the armrest.  
  
He turned to her contemplatively.  
  
"What?" she questioned his stare and he shook his head smiling. "Well Ella has hers and I can quite happily take over the entire couch,"  
  
"I noticed." He interrupted, "So this is your way of getting me of your couch."  
  
She nodded, pretending she was caught red-handed.  
  
He laughed and when he stopped, whispered, "thank you. This is perfect."  
  
"Good," she smiled, glad she found something he liked.  
  
"And for everything. Tonight has been… just perfect."  
  
He looked very serious. Elizabeth got up and put a CD on. "You want a drink?"  
  
He got up and walked to her. "No."  
  
She turned to him, a small smile playing on her lips, and let him take her hand.  
  
"May I have this dance?"  
  
She nodded, swallowing, nervous from the intensity in his eyes until he cracked a grin, revealing he'd only been trying to stare her down.  
  
She laughed and pulled him close.  
  
_'I really cant stay (but baby its cold outside)  
I've got to go away (but baby its cold outside)  
this evening has been so very nice (I'll hold your hands there just like ice)  
my mother will start to worry! (beautiful what's you're hurry?)  
and father will be pacing the floor (listen to the fireplace roar)  
so really I better scurry! (beautiful please don't hurry)  
well maybe just a half a drink more (puts some records on while I pour)  
the neighbours might think (baby its bad out there)  
say.. what's in this drink (no cabs to be had out there)  
I wish I knew how.... to break the spell (your eyes are like starlight now)'  
_  
Robert had started to sing along and Elizabeth laughed lightly at the words. She hadn't heard this one in ages.  
  
"You know I haven't even sung you happy birthday yet."  
  
"Shh, you're ruining the song." He teased.  
  
"Happy birthday… to you." She mimicked Marilyn Munroe appallingly.  
  
Robert laughed and stepped back to spin her around and watch her smile.  
  
"Happy birthday… to you."  
  
He pulled her back to him as Dean Martin finished in the background.  
  
Elizabeth kept going, "Happy birthday… Mr President."  
  
"Now that's good for the ego."  
  
She laughed, "Happy birthday… to you."  
  
"It's been a while since I was sung to." They'd stopped dancing and he was running his fingers down the side of her face, playing with stray curls. He exhaled and shook his head disbelievingly. "I love you."  
  
She smiled and kissed him, surprised by his response.  
  
"Did you have any more surprises for tonight?" he mumbled between kisses.  
  
She laughed, "no. Unless you'd like to christen your new chair."  
  
He stopped for a minute and looked at the chair. "No offence, but it doesn't look that comfortable."  
  
She laughed and kissed him again, "That's cause it wasn't designed for such exertion."  
  
It was his turn to laugh. "What did I do to deserve you?" he turned half-serious.  
  
"Well…" she pulled him towards the stairs "first, you dragged me half-way across the world, stunned by my surgical talent,"  
  
"Amongst other things…"  
  
She looked shocked.  
  
"You knew that." He came as close as the man could to looking bashful.  
  
"Anyway, you argued with me more than any sane person would have bothered,"  
  
"So now I'm insane?"  
  
She nodded, "You told me things I didn't want to hear."  
  
"I never knew you were so grateful."  
  
"Only for some of them."  
  
He smiled understandingly and opened her bedroom door. "Ladies first."  
  
"I've been promoted." She smiled walking in.  
  
"I was just being polite."  
  
She laughed and turned to face him. "And you make me laugh."  
  
"I thought you'd finished." He stood really close but didn't touch her.  
  
"I'm finished." she breathed.  
  
He kissed her before the words were out of her mouth. 


End file.
